Reasons Why I Will Never Set Foot Near A Dirt Bike Race Again

Dear Stephan,

I saved Nathan’s bike when he fell into the water at the finish line. Imagine if I had left it in the water. NOW, it’s your fault Stephan what happened next as you never once told me what to do once I pick up a running dirt bike. How was I to know that the gas was on the handle bar, how was I to know that the reason it took off like a wild horse was because I had to let go of said handlebar??!! You never once told me how to shut the damn thing off.

Now I have to go through life knowing I am the laughing stalk of the whole racing circuit, that a little itty bitty girl is afraid of me because I almost killed her. I have to go through life knowing some teenage girls in white tank tops and white shorts will forever hate me because I COVERED them in mud. I have to endure the life long memories of screaming at the top of my lungs “I don’t know how to shut it off” The memory of the faces of the crowd I cat walked the bike into, mud spraying in their faces. Until finally the bike flew from my hands and I was left with people laughing at me, people staring with gaping mouths and children crying while their mother’s picked mud off their faces and out of their mouths.

It’s all your fault Stephan that my six year old son looked at me when it was all over and said “mom, you embarrassed me” I blame you and you alone for leaving me at the finish line assuming that if something went wrong I would know what to do, I NEVER know what to do! Lesson learned for Stephan!

Now I will apologize to the little girl who was almost run down by the out of control dirt bike, to the teenage girls who had to spend the rest of their day (and it’s a long one in teen years) covered in mud, to the pregnant mommy who had to yank her screaming child out of my way and snap her brother back to his senses so he could stop the bike. I apologize to Nathan for embarrassing him, to Bailey who saw it all from the top of the track and therefore had to wait hours to be able to show her face again. To Sarah who heard all the screaming and her mother apologizing to a crowd (CROWD) of people. To the spectators who paid to watch a dirt bike race and instead witnessed a circus. To all those I scared and all those that peed their pants watching me, I apologize!


Ten Things I Learned While Painting A Highly Textured Piece Of Artwork

1. Patience! There were exactly 8 different drying periods during the making of this painting.
2. Everything dries faster outside on a warm, sunny day. Although when I was feeling lazy and didn’t take it back inside to add my third coat of colour it was drying to fast and I had to run for water to take off what had adhered to places I didn’t anticipate.
3. A quick look around the house and you will find all sorts of objects that can be embedded into the plaster for a very cool, textured look. I had to sneak by my 3 year old daughter with her butterfly spoon so she wouldn’t object to my use of it.
4. Use lots of water, not only to press your objects into the plaster but to clean your hands, face, the floor, the tops of your shoes, the edge of your sleeve the will inevitably drag through it all and possibly your teeth (don’t ask) haha
5. Find something else to do between coats so you will LEAVE IT ALONE, very crucial to the success of the overall painting.
6। Kick the kids out of the house, the project looks like far too much fun for little hands and as soon as you turn your back I guarantee there will be new brush strokes or textures!
7. Plan ahead for your colour choices, really take a moment to decide what colours will work well together and give enough contrast to stand out against each other.
8. Varnish in between coats, really helps to wipe away the additional paint colours. Again patience is a key factor here. Wait until the varnish is completely dry or it just takes off the plaster when you start rubbing off the paint.
9. Don’t eat over the painting, trust me, not a texture you want in there and it’s time consuming to pick out crumbs!!
10. Remember you are making this for re-sale, it looks really cool on the wall but you already have enough paintings, this was made to sell for profit!!
Don’t forget to have fun!

Keeping Up With The Masses; An Artists Struggle With Social Media and The Art Of Engaging

I’ve spent my morning trying to get organized, listing art on new sites, keeping up with the social media sites, tweaking my twitter, stumbling my pictures and finally updating my blog. There is so much to keep up with……aggghhhh. I want to simplify, downsize, reign things in a little but I find myself afraid to miss an opportunity. How many of you feel lost on twitter? Do you feel like your tweets are just going out into the unknown, never to be noticed? Engage we are told; show you are a real person. Does anyone REALLY want to hear about my kids first day of school, how I burned the oatmeal this morning or how fat my kitten is getting? I just don’t see it but I’ll keep tweeting just in case there is someone likeminded out there actually listening. I just want to paint, lock myself away and paint until I run out of supplies. But what’s the use of painting for a living if I don’t find a way to share it with the masses. I’ll cross my fingers and send new artwork out to cyber space in the hopes someone out there will connect with it enough to press that buy button. I’m just trying to make a living, pay some bills, buy the kids some cloths for school, afford a piece of salmon once in awhile. And maybe, once in blue moon I will find myself engaging with someone else floating around in this vast cyber space who’s also trying to connect and make a living off their handmade goods. Now I’m off to tweet!