Thunderstorms, Daily Life Battles and An Owl Painting


Today it is pouring rain, there is a severe thunderstorm watch in effect, the skies are dark and dreary; the air feels heavy, ominous.

Today is a day for battening down the hatches, curling up in a snug blanket while waiting for the storm to pass.

I feel like this is my life as of late, always waiting for the storm to pass. During these storms, these daily battles I use painting as my comforting blanket, my solace.

Here is an owl painting that was constructed while I worried endlessly about my life;Abstract owl painting by Laura Carter it brought me calm and chipped away at my feelings of helplessness. I painted this owl on a highly textured background; I fought the paint against the bumpy road of the surface, like I am fighting against the bumpy road of my current state of affairs.

Today it is pouring rain, it is dark and dreary, thankfully, tomorrow’s forecast calls for sun and warmth and I say bring it on, it’s about time!

This painting will be available here in the coming week.

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Painting Tornado’s and Cleaning Paw Prints – The Life Of A Struggling Artist


Yesterday I worked on two paintings, one of a tornado at the request of a client who is also buying my lightning bolt painting. The other a beach scene triptych, which is two separate paintings that when hung together make one picture. So yesterday was a busy day in my painting world. Things got messy, as they often do when I’m in the middle of a commission. But what stresses me out the most on these types of days, when I have more then one piece on the go  is keeping the paintings away from my cats while they dry. There is nothing worse then seeing little blue footprints on the floor before you see they have walked across the painting. My goal this year is to get a closed off room to myself for my art that is free of kids and animals. What bliss it would be to leave a painting to dry and not have to chase a cat or kid out of the house!

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Bullying and the Power of One Man’s Words


Today I stumbled upon this video about bullying by Shane Koyczanhttp://www.upworthy.com/bullies-called-him-pork-chop-he-took-that-pain-with-him-and-then-cooked-it-into?g=3 it’s a beautifully written, spoken poem with animation, the animation is beautiful and touching in it’s own right.

This is an incredibly important video and as a person who was also bullied as a child I found myself crying over it. There is one part where he says “we grew up believing no on would ever fall in love with us, that we’d be lonely forever, that we’d never meet someone to make us feel like the sun was something they built for us in their tool shed. So broken heart strings bled the blues as we tried to empty ourselves so we would feel nothing.” That particular collection of words really hit home to me. I was bullied from grade 6 into high school simply because I had buckteeth. My parents were not able to get braces for me until I was 16. The happiest day of my life, and it is sad to say so, is the day I had my braces put on. I grew up in a military family and spent my childhood moving every 4 years. In grade 6 I started in a new school in a smaller town and that’s when the bullying started. I can remember laying in bed at night and thinking the same thing that Shane Koyczan says in his amazing poem; that no one would ever fall in love with me, I was going to grow up lonely, that this would never go away, this would never get better. It did get better as my teeth were straightened, as I grew up and found beauty in myself. However the pain you endure as a child, being barked at all the way home from the bus stop, being called bucky beaver, ugly, freak, the pain of those words carry into adulthood. They make you fear the day your children start school, fear that they will endure the same pain. Or worse that they will inflict pain on others.

Because of my teeth and the relentless teasing I learned to hide away, to not get too close to people for fear I would get too comfortable and maybe forget to cover my mouth with my hand when I smiled or laughed. I was always so careful to cover my mouth. I was one of the lucky ones though, I had friends, friends that considered themselves good people for allowing me to hang out with them, you know, considering…. Friends that would think it were okay to say, “you are the nicest person in our class but you are the ugliest.” I never want my children to have to plan out how they are going to walk from one class to the next to avoid certain people, to have to walk down a hallway while the name calling hits you like a slap in the face. I never want my children to have to laugh when someone makes a reference to how you remind them of bugs bunny, like laughing at yourself will make the humiliation less intense. I never wanted anyone to know their comments hurt me, somehow that made it worse in my eyes. So I laughed along with them and they in turn thought I was so nice, with no idea how much I actually hated them. Thank you Shane Koyczan, your words WILL make a difference.

Please note this blog post was hard to write, I still feel the sting of humiliation recalling that time in my young life. Share Shane’s video, like his facebook page, follow him on twitter; watch him as he makes a difference.

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Birthday Wishes From A Nine Year Old


Today is my birthday. Today I turned 42. In the past few years, the days leading up to my birthday bring a tiny bit of sadness. I don’t like that I am getting older, especially when I still feel so young. I see a few wrinkles now and dread someday not recognizing myself in the mirror.

This morning my nine year old son woke me up with hugs and birthday wishes. I left the bed he was snuggled into to use the bathroom. When I came back he said to me “you’re beautiful”. It made me laugh. So he says, “you are, you still have that makeup on from last night, your hair is all over the place and big and there’s that little curl hanging down, you look beautiful”. Right there, the best birthday present EVER. Little did he know how much his words meant, today of all days.

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Sticky Fingers and Hairstyling – Summer Bliss


Summer’s here, officially, today is the second day since my kids have been out of school. I’ve been forced to set my art aside and spend some quality time with them. So far we have played dance dance on the xbox, did some lame exercise because it was too hot out then ate freezies. One trip to the dirt bike track in the late afternoon then the grocery store to stock up on frozen yogurt (except ice cream was on sale).

Now it’s day two and I was woken up to sweaty kids clad in only their underwear trying to tickle me. Then a full movie day (because it rained). After too much icecream and chocolate milk, freezie packages stuck to the floor and a few sticky faced kisses now I am getting my hair done by my  youngest daughter. She has a habit of banging the brush on my head then tearing it through bringing tears to my eyes. But hey, she’s stopped talking and folks, in the 48 hours since school let out for summer I don’t think this child has stopped talking once.

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We Finally Have A Gravy Boat


You know when you go to dinner at someone’s house and they pull out all these fancy dishes and platters. There is something for everything they are serving. Everything seems to match and you walk away thinking the food tasted better because THEY are better.

Not at our house, at our house the butter is served on a plate or better yet, from a margarine container. The cups won’t match and if the plates happen to it’s because we pulled out the ones that have chips and cracks on them. Good luck finding a matching utensil and the ketchup bottle is there for all to see. No, in our house fancy is like a swear word.

But as our kids are growing we’ve been trying to change that. We bought some white platters and matching bowls a year ago; this past winter a whole big set of fancy utensils and finally, the biggest luxury item of them all, a gravy boat.

What does that mean for our family? I’m not sure, cheese on a platter and toothpicks in the meatballs won’t change the fact that when our six year old farts at the table everyone giggles. But at least we finally have a gravy boat.

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Gravy boat photograph curtesy of https://www.etsy.com/ca/shop/vintagenancy

She Watches In The Dead Of Night – A Visual Story


She watches in the dead of night, like an owl, her eyes sharp with intent. She watches so she can learn, the truth, the ugliness of it. She is freeing herself while keeping watch, she is freeing herself of the burden, of the lies, of the fear. She dares not to blink, while her eyes adjust, to the painful truth, she dares not to breath, as her breath hangs heavy in the night air. She whispers goodbye, to deaf ears, to empty hearts, she whispers goodbye and finally, lets go. Tonight she holds no regrets, no fears, only hope for now she must tread lightly towards dawn’s breaking light, again alone.

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